Life Between Jobs

So just after I posted my last entry on the importance of defining normal, I happened to come across this article on the NYT’s about the limits of control. I think the takeaway here is to first understand what you can control (i.e. define as normal) and then accept the fact there are many aspects of your life which you cannot control. Read for yourself.

http://happydays.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/06/15/the-limits-of-control/

Two weeks ago I had a pretty tough week. Air conditioning went out when the temperature was 95° outside, the dog started throwing up, and my wife wasn’t feeling well. Ended up paying $250 to get the air conditioner repaired, taking the dog to the emergency vet (complete with an overnight stay in the pet hospital), and trying to help my wife feel better. That was very stressful.

In the midst of this, a discussion arose about the possibility of visiting family. “Do something normal” was the catch phrase. (I honestly never got the link between visiting my family and normal.) But the opportunity to see family was very alluring. It’s been too long. So plans were made.

But my wife still wasn’t feeling better. And at the last minute, we had to change our minds. Just wasn’t worth the travel time when she wasn’t feeling well, and I wasn’t up to 4 days of hard driving by myself.

So we are having a quiet “normal” week at home. Which given everything going on, is actually quite refreshing.

My recommendation to you is when you’re feeling stressed or dealing with adversity, maybe the response to “Do something normal” is to do something you define as normal not how others define it.

Throughout this whole adventure of unemployment I’ve tried to remain optimistic. It is tough sometimes. Uncertainty about lifestyle, where you live or the kids go to school, what your spouse will do, etc. There are some things that remain constant – faith, family, and friends. But that’s not to say I’m not human, and don’t have the occasional episode of panic. And that’s when I have found strength from my faith, family, and friends to be so very helpful.

And in all of this, I keep reminding myself that it’s not where you start, it’s where you finish. All of this will be but a distant memory within months once I do find a place where I can contribute (and get paid!)

As I’ve mentioned previously many interviews seem to have a game show type format where you are asked questions and you answer questions. What that type of interview really shows is how well you answer questions. Rarely does an interview really take the form of finding out how you think and how you work. But when an interview does address those areas it is rewarding and productive for both the interviewer and the interviewee.

I experienced this form of an interview recently. It started out like other interviews. But the interviewer kept changing topics, he seemed to be bouncing around, but it didn’t seem random, the randomness had a purpose. The questions focused on some very specific behavioral topics. How do you deal with people who tell you one thing in a meeting but then tell you something else later on? Tell me of a time when you did such and such. And as the questions kept coming at a very rapid fire pace, I finally got to the point where I honestly said “Hang on. I need to write this down so I can keep this straight.” And so we dealt with the questions. A couple minutes later the interviewer told me something I did not expect “You’ve answered my question from earlier when you stopped the interview and wrote the questions down.” That was good to hear. Not only because I answered one of his questions, but because his line of questions gave me an opportunity to get outside the box in an interview. The interviewer was inducing a level of stress similar to a work situation to see how I would respond.

What I appreciate most about the interview was I had the opportunity to establish a connection with someone. Those don’t come that often in an interview.

We all know none of us are perfect. And when you’re going through a job search process it seems your every flaw or weakness is magnified. I guess in some sense it has to be because when making a hiring decision a company wants to make the best decision they can. And in the end it comes down to details.

And sometimes we contribute to it. And sometimes other people do. And while we all want to minimize the opportunities where we stick our feet in our mouths, no one is perfect. Situations could arise. And hopefully they are minor.

In the end I guess it comes down to how real of person you are and accepting of yourself you are. If you handle a minor mistake with grace and move on, it could bode well for you. You have to realize one aspect of what they’re looking for is how well you handle less than perfect situations because everyone’s been there and they will be there again.

What is the presumed format of an interview? You wear a suit, you smile, you sit down and you answer questions. It’s like a game show. Whoever answers the questions better, wins. Would somebody please tell me how this can tell you who can do a job? I can’t.

As I’ve mentioned in my recent update about my recent adventures – I have come to the conclusion getting a job should be like sales. Not high pressure, hard close sales, but identifying and solving a problem, working with other people and getting their commitment. It is solution sales – you are the solution – you need to get the decision makers in the company to buy into your vision and select your solution.

As I’ve started to take this approach in my job search, I see something very peculiar happening during my interviews. In addition to answering the questions to the best of my ability, when I ask questions I have started to probe into more depth. What are their needs? What would really help the company? Do I fit?

And in my follow up questions I test my abilities against their needs. In some cases, there just isn’t a fit, for a variety of reasons. Pay, interest level, future direction, company culture play a role, in addition to the questions about whether or not I have the background and experience they need.

And I have stopped doing things that well meaning job search experts told me I should do – “Ask for the job” (hard closing sales approach), “Develop a 90 day plan” (prescribing before a complete diagnosis). I found those pieces of advice were putting too much tension into the relationship.

If you’re looking for a great resource that gives some very practical advice about how to approach a job search with a solutions first orientation, I’d suggest checking out a copy of the book “SPIN Selling” by Neil Rackham. Reading it has really helped me to get my feet back on the ground after a very tough separation from my previous company. (Thanks go to Brian Kennett http://www.twitter.com/btkennett for turning me on to it.)

As I mentioned in a recent update I’ve been on an adventure. I went on this adventure purposefully because I realized what I was doing wasn’t working. When looking at basic qualifications, I don’t have a major deficiency. I have an engineering degree and an MBA, both from top schools. I had great experience at a top technology company. I was able to get in the door pretty quickly at some other companies for interviews. But I wasn’t getting job offers. In one instance, I went from being a top candidate coming out of the phone interviews to not even being in the top half after the in-person interviews. Very sobering.

One of the other things that I had heard was when you’re looking for a job you are in sales. And from talking to people who did get jobs, I always had the sense that they got their jobs because they knew how to relate to the hiring manager.

So an opportunity came along for me to do actual sales. Learn a product understand its value and begin to engage with other people about their need for the product. And when I mean sales this is cold calling. And don’t presume that when you’re doing sales you can do it in a high pressure format. That does not work long term. To be truly effective and sales you need to solve problems, work with other people, and get their commitment. I realized that was just like getting a job. So I went for it.

This opportunity has been a godsend for me. This is my natural way.   Now I’m getting back to me. By that I mean, being myself. I will talk about it in future updates what that really means.

One of the things I’ve come to dread the most while being unemployed is waking up at 4:00 AM and not being able to go back to sleep. I’ve spoken to my doctor about this and there is nothing he can give me. He says “There is something bugging you, Tim.” Brilliant. I knew that.

And I’m not alone in this. Other people who are going through this wake up and can’t go back to sleep. Money, prestige, things left undone, how’s this affecting your kids, how’s this affecting your wife, all weigh on me.

My doctor’s recommendation was to see a psychologist. I’ve seen them before and they are helpful. After my mom died in 1991 I saw one for a while. I learned the tricks though. Dedication to reality, acceptance of yourself and others, faith, love – all play a role in coming to grips with the situation.

What also helps me is a nice long walk with the dog in the evening, no coffee after 2:00 PM. And when you to make it through to 6:00 AM it feels like a mini victory for the day.

By the way- today was one of those days. Yeah!

Just like that old song by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, the waiting is the hardest part. I just returned from a round of interviews at a company in Chicago that I really want work for. I think this company has technology that will revolutionize the industry I have worked in for 18 years. I thought the interviews went well. But they said they had a couple more people to interview, and it would be a couple weeks before they made the final decision. So I wait.

So to really assess where I’m at right now, you would have to look at all the different opportunities I have in front of me right. Job prospects – this is the only one. Potential job prospects – there are a few. Entrepreneurial prospects – a couple. I would clearly say the work I would enjoy the most are the entrepreneurial opportunities. This by the way is what I like about this company in Chicago as well because it is small and entrepreneurial. I enjoy working in completely uncharted territory. In general, I am just not sure if I could make a living as an entrepreneur.

I guess you could argue that when it comes to the entrepreneurial prospects in particular, my view towards them can be a self fulfilling prophecy. If I knew that an entrepreneurial path really was the path I wanted to take, and if I could give myself permission to follow that path without reservation, would I be happiest in the end? Would I ensure my success by simply committing myself more fully? If the opportunities are real, I suppose so. Do I know if they are real? That is what I am really trying to figure out right now.

I am here to say that I am officially back from an adventure.  The adventure is not over.  I am just back here to tell you more about it.

Why did I go on this adventure?  After a very tough period in late March to mid April, I realized that I needed to re-tool.   Revamp my perspective.  So I did.

I really haven’t been anywhere physically.  What I have done is completely invert the old equation I had in my mind for how I was supposed to work.  The conventional wisdom is get a guarantee to be paid first, and then work.  I did that for 18 years at my former company. 

I am now working, with no guarantee to be paid.  There is a possibility I will be paid, but no guarantee.  I have to produce real tangible results to be paid.

It’s not that I didn’t produce tangible results before.  I did.  But the compromise for political reasons I felt were sometimes too much.  As I am retooling, I wanted an environment where the distance between myself and my customers to be very short.  I wanted the thrill of the hunt. 

And so you know, I found it.  In the next series of posts I will tell you about my adventure, and why I am ever more convinced this was a necessary step for me to take during my transition

I will be posting each day now to tell you more about the adventure, the decision making process behind it, lesson’s learned, and what I forsee in the future.